Be careful who you are accepting advice from. Information floods our world constantly. And with it, advice for anything and everything.
24/7.
365 days a year.
At any time, we can surf the internet and learn how to draw a cactus (click on image then click the PLAY button to watch), get rich, be a minimalist, be more productive, raise a confident child, homeschool, lose weight, so on and so forth.
Godly Discernment Required
Information is easily accessible and quickly acquired. It is just part of living in the 21st century. But with it comes the need for discernment because there is also a lot of information that contradicts each other. Is coffee good or bad for health? Which is better, the Carnivore or vegan diet?
Anyone can offer advice (paid and/or free) on the internet. And yes, I am one of them. Few people check the credibility of the source or even know who the source is sometimes. And we all know that if a piece of information is repeated long and often enough, people tend to think that it is true. Scary, eh?
As Christians, we don’t just need discernment, we need godly discernment. Not everything a person who says he/she is a Christian writes/sells is in line with Scripture and holy living. Just because something is slapped with the words “biblical” or “Christian” does not make it either biblical or Christian, because anything can be Christianised. #justsaying
Theory versus Real Life
The other thing is this:
What works in theory often doesn’t work out in real life.
So, while it is great and necessary to consume theoretical information as a start, it is best if we get to know or talk to people who have actually lived out the advice dished out. Don’t just follow someone who is merely repeating what she has read or heard.
Echoing Popular Trends
Just last week, I was reading an email from Beth Anne of Brilliant Business Moms on a business marketing strategy doing its rounds on the internet. She was frustrated as she kept seeing/reading “experts” dish out advice that is basically what everyone else in the online world is dishing out.
She wrote in her email:
“When someone offers you advice ask them for proof. Make sure they didn’t just hear it from someone who heard it from someone who heard it from someone else. Data rules.” ~ Beth Anne Schwamberger
Yep.
Talk is cheap. So, who are YOU accepting advice from?
Who Are You Accepting Advice From?
What Beth Anne says applies to any advice that we are consuming and acting upon. On this blog, I write about parenting and homeschooling quite a fair bit. I try to be honest and transparent. And I always try to remind you that the things I share are things that work for me and my family.
Yes, there are certain principles that work across the board BUT the application of the principles can vary widely because our situations are different.
5 Things to Do Before Accepting Advice From Anyone
Before we accept advice from anyone, in real life or off the internet, here are 5 things to ask and consider.
1. Do We Want to be Where this Person Is?
Watch this short 1:08 minute Instagram post from Lisa Bevere. Click on the image and then the PLAY button to watch the clip.
“Make sure you’re going to the RIGHT PEOPLE for the RIGHT COUNSEL.
Find SOMEONE who is WHERE YOU WANT TO GO,
and glean from her WISDOM.” ~ Lisa Bevere
As she shares, finding people to moan and whine with you is easy but if we want to get out of that, we need to find someone who is at a place we want to be at. After all, you do not ask an alcoholic how to quit drinking, right?
And so, we shouldn’t be taking advice from a mom with uncontrollable toddlers if we do not want uncontrollable toddlers of our own. She will only tell you that that is the reality of toddlerhood. No. No, it isn’t. Look for someone whose toddler isn’t running amok and then seek their advice.
2. Is this Person Telling the Whole Story?
If you only know a person off the internet, you cannot know the full backstory. And if you don’t know the full story, then their advice may not be applicable to your situation.
For example, I know someone who said that their child does not do worksheets and assessment books but is still scored great grades in the national exams. Another advised that just reading will improve my child’s Chinese language skills because that happened with their child.
Well, they are not wrong but they are also not presenting the full story. I found out later that the former was an ex-MOE trained teacher who knew what to teach when it came to taking our national exams, while the latter has a great command of the Chinese language and has a family environment that supported the just-read-and-one-will-learn-the-language theory.
In my family, if I adopted both those strategies, our children will do very badly at the national level exams. I was never a teacher, MOE-trained or otherwise. Both my husband and I struggled and I mean really struggled with Chinese. D7 was my grade if anyone is asking. How could I read to my child when I can’t read the books myself?
3. Is the Person Selling You Something?
I am sorry to say that when there is money involved, there is a tendency for the seller to be a little bit more enthusiastic in the offering of advice than a non-seller. It is like asking the fruit seller if his strawberries are sweet. Of course, he will say they are. It isn’t that all the advice they are giving is false but their advice is biased.
When we were severely afflicted with eczema, I had so many people come and tell me that their essential oils or supplements or water is THE panacea to our woes. Some of them truly believed in their product and were willing to put their money where their mouths are – yes, they gave us their products to try. So grateful! But there were also many who enthusiastically regurgitated advice that was listed on their product catalogue. Not helpful.
4. Do Your Own Research and Process It
You cannot farm out your research to someone else. You need to understand what you are getting yourself into and if the advice is suitable for your situation and family before you implement it.
In this day and age of information overload, many of us tend to skim and scan articles and books. Don’t.
Don’t cherry-pick what appeals to you and ignore what doesn’t either. This can be very dangerous. Because there will always be a research paper or more that supports whatever stand we wish to take.
Take for instance the keto diet trend. When I googled “keto is bad” I got about 57,500,000 results. When I googled, “keto is good”, I got about 125,000,000 results. Pick your article to suit your position on it.
This also applies to choosing your homeschool curriculum. I have mentioned before that I love the literature-based Sonlight curriculum and read as many reviews as possible, especially from users who have a large family. It sounded really good but after processing it carefully, I knew that it just wouldn’t work for us.
Do gather your information and then carefully and thoughtfully process them.
5. Check-in With The Lord
You didn’t think I would leave this out, right?
With so much information and options out there, there is information overload. We need to take what we have to the Lord and seek His face. Check-in with the Lord yourself.
What is He saying to you about the situation? Which piece of advice should you heed? This is why we need to learn to hear His voice and Holy Spirit prompting and then to obey.
Start practising today to hear His voice on the small things so that when the big things come up, we are already so attuned to His promptings we automatically know what He wants us to do.
Advice is Free But…
Remember, please be very careful who you are taking your advice from, even from me.
Sometimes it is just an inconvenience to take bad advice – buying an expensive kitchen gadget or a homeschool curriculum everyone is raving about. But other times, it can have serious consequences affecting either your health or your children’s future.
Be discerning, my friend!
Related Posts
Do We Still Need a Titus 2 Woman?
Not All Who Ask For Help Want It
Dishing Out Advice When You Have a Large Family
What Would Jesus Eat? How a Sketchy ‘Biblical’ Diet Was Sold to MAGA America (article to show that just because it has the word “biblical” on it does not make it so.)