We are living in the very connected 21st Century. Do we still need a real-life Titus 2 Woman?
In this day where any information can easily be had at one click, it may seem that there is no longer a need for her in our lives.
But I beg to differ.
Yes, there is a lot of information online: Books, blogs, podcasts, eCourses and the like. All very helpful as we face the different challenges thrown at us in each season of mothering.
However, there is nothing like a *real-life* person you can share life with. I would only propose that you seek her online if there is really no one in real life you can reach out to.
A Real-life Titus 2 Woman
Because honestly, who is to know the real behind-the-scenes-lives of those who dish out advice via their books/blogs/podcasts/ eCourses? Yes, that goes for advice from me too.
How do you know if I live out what I say? Unless you know me in real life, I could be dishing out the best biblical advice in the world and have a totally dysfunctional family. Because knowing what to do and actually doing it are two very different things.
Remember, social media only shows the highlight reels of a person’s life, even when she claims it is a behind-the-scenes status update.
What the Bible Says
There are 2 parts to this admonishment by Paul: the older woman’s part versus the younger woman’s part.
The older woman is to live a God-honouring and reverent life. She is to be a model for the younger woman who needs to be taught certain skills. The younger woman, in turn, must be teachable. And together, they do not “malign the word of God”. (ESV)
Then and Now
In days of old, everyone lived in a community of extended family. And within this community, there would be many Titus 2 Women at various life stages for the younger ladies to look up to and learn from.
But today, it is the nucleus family that is the norm rather than the exception. With this development, neither the younger men or women have their Titus 2 Man and Woman to look up to as models on a daily basis.
Instead, they look to the media (horrors!) to educate them. And in case you are not aware, the media more often than not portrays older people as clueless and uncool.
Honour the Old
But the Bible says older people are to be honoured.
Honour the Young
Instead, the media says to honour the cool and hip youngsters. Even old Hollywood stars who make a so-called come back only show up for cameo roles or for “character roles” (i.e. short clips).
So, we are constantly bombarded with images that old is not good and we that we should all try ridiculous measures to fight ageing. Botox, face lifts, butt lifts! We don’t revere the old anymore. We mock them.
Where is the Titus 2 Woman?
In this climate, it is hard for the Titus 2 Woman to emerge. In fact, some may shy away from being her because she does not want to be the OLDER woman.
Therefore, unsurprisingly, the younger woman is also not keen to take advice from older women. I have observed and chatted with a few younger mothers. I have also briefly spoken with a lady who deals with many young parents.
Both of us came to the same conclusion: young mothers (and fathers) are very proud. They think they know everything. They won’t take advice from us older mothers.
She added that in order for her advice to be heeded, she has to couch it in such a way that these young mothers think they are the ones who came up with it.
As the Younger Woman
But it made me reflect my season of being the younger mother. I was probably the same or worse. Actually, I was probably a pain in the you-know-where.
I did not like to be told what to do. That always brings out the rebel in me. I pooh-poohed advice from the older women around me – namely my mother and mother-in-law. I was too wrapped up in my own ideas to listen to anyone.
So, to the younger mothers I say:
Do not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Do not tar all older ladies with the same brush. Yes, there will be those who dish out baseless old wives’ tales but there are lovely, spirit-filled older women out there. Seek them out. They may not know the latest parenting trend but they have real-life experience! They would love to share their stories.
As the Older Woman
At this stage of life and age, I qualify to be a Titus 2 Woman.
But I have not fully performed the role I am to play. Instead, I have increasingly withdrawn from being one in real life. Not because I am worried about being seen as old. But rather, I have been burned too many times.
I get rather impatient with the younger moms who reach out but were not seeking biblically-based advice. They were actually seeking out people who would endorse and support what they want to do. But I know that is not the right attitude to take.
So, to the older Titus 2 women (and myself!) I say:
Be patient and show grace. Also, consider if our behaviour and lives reverence God and honour Him. Does the light of Jesus shine forth so brightly that the younger women wish to seek us out? And then, extend an offer of help. Think back to how you would like to have been helped when you were the younger mother and go be that help. And last but not least, do not take offence if they do not take your advice. Some lessons need to be learnt in real time.
My Tribe of Titus 2 Women
So, who has been my Titus 2 Woman?
Remember I mentioned right at the start that having a real-life Titus 2 woman is best unless there is really no one to reach out to? Well, when I was the younger woman, there was no one locally I knew who had more than 4 children and homeschooled them. And I needed an older woman who has walked my path not one who knows what to do in theory only.
God in His mercy sent a group of Titus 2 women to me through the world wide web. He knew that I really needed them.
And so, through large family forums and Yahoo Groups (yes, that was back in the day before Facebook Groups existed) I found my Tribe of (Titus 2 Women) Mentors, to borrow the latest Tim Ferriss’ book title.
Thank God for them. I am still in touch with some of them, 18 years on!
Yes, I didn’t know if they really lived the life they presented to the group or not but their frank discussions and sharing of practical and spiritual issues put me on the right track. I was no longer alone.
So, Do We Still Need a Real-Life Titus 2 Woman?
YES! Yes, we do.
The challenge is finding the right one. But you know what? We don’t have to just find ONE. We can seek out different Titus 2 Women and learn different things from each of them. Isn’t that a relief?
Now go and look for one or go and be one.
May we all live in a way that does not blaspheme the word of God.
- What is your experience SEEKING out a Titus 2 Woman?
- What is your experience BEING a Titus 2 Woman?
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