I’ve always said right in the beginning that Discipline is a very sensitive subject. So whenever I am asked about what we do and use as disciplinary methods/tools. I always hesitate to share especially if I know the parents are young, educated and all into attachment parenting which most modern parents are 😉
Why? Because we spank. We use the cane/rod.
Once those words come out of my mouth most people will smile, nod and move away or change the subject 😀 It does not help that those who support spanking have gotten bad press time and time again, such as Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy ministry and Gary and Ann Marie Ezzo of Growing Families International.
I read books by the above authors some 15 years ago and I no longer remember details of their teachings but I remember not following everything in their book. Just the principle of what they were trying to share. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!
So while on vacation recently a familiar scenario was played out yet again. A mom of 2 asked me how we kept our children seated at the table during mealtimes. She had no problems with her older child but the second child was totally different.
My usual question to such questions is : is that act of disobedience (be it mealtimes struggle, bath time tantrums, etc) a single act or is the disobedience across the board?
If it were the former, then mom needs to find out why the child is so resistant to mealtimes. Is there an underlying health issue? But if it were the latter then discipline needs to be implemented across the board. This mom said that she couldn’t get him to obey her most of the time. And then I mention using the cane and as expected, the conversation then sorta tapered off.
I make no apologies about using the cane. It is what we have decided on and have used for all 7 children. I will emphasise though that we do not just use the cane exclusively. We do reason with them when they are at an age where they can be reasoned with. We also use natural consequences where appropriate (a la Love and Logic. And no, we do not use time out.
It is just one tool out of so many that is used, depending on the situation and on the child. If you choose not to spank, so be it. But whatever method you choose, you need to be consistent!