20th April 2016
I was officially promoted to be a mother of an 18 year old son last Wednesday. Just like back in 20th April 1998 (a Monday), I was promoted to be a mother. However, I think I was more ready to be a mother than be a mother of an 18 year old. Seriously!
As an eager mother-to-be, I had planned and shopped and washed and packed and got everything as ready as can be as the official EDD (estimated due date) drew near. And that probably played a huge role in us getting all excited and rushing to the hospital on advice of my ob-gyn the moment I felt regular contractions 10 minutes apart. I have learnt since then that one should never rush to the hospital too soon. Because that of course led to a cascade of interventions that made that birth* harder than the other 6 to recover from.
BUT…
As with all things, I learnt so much from going through labour and delivery with David, as our first born, as I have and am learning about so many other things in this adventure called motherhood because…
First born = guinea pig**
Sorry son. And yet, I am not sorry. Because God made you our first born, He infused into you a certain kind of resilience and an extra big heart as Daddy and I bungled our way through parenthood. That resilience and generous heart will stand you in good stead as you live out this life that the good Lord has blessed you with.
With a large family, a homeschooling, ministry one at that, our days can get really chaotic and truly exhaustive at times and in many ways, it is good because then I am forced not to be a helicopter mother.*** I had and am still learning, to let go and let God. But as I move, trudge, and rush through daily life, the years do creep up and suddenly….I have an 18 year old son! As I had posted as a status update, on David’s birthday :
Blink and they grow up! Truly, the days are LONG, but the years are short.
When in the trenches of raising and caring for babies, toddlers, and everything else, the days seem never ending. And sleep, never coming! And yet, here we are, 18 and going to be launched into the world, officially, once he is enlisted into the Army.****
I am really not sure how I feel about this. I am really not sure if we have prepared him enough. All of us hate tests and exams but without them, how will we know where we stand? If our training has been adequate? And so, as we launch him (and soon, the rest) into the world, all of us will be tested. We, as parents, if we have taught him right. He, as the student/child, if he has learnt well. BUT because I know He is in God’s hands, the stress is significantly lowered. I would like to say I am not worried at all, but I’d like to be honest 😉
I am not ready!
So here I am , totally unready, a mother to an 18 year old son. And I am not being discriminatory or sexist or whatever label the world likes to label me – being a mother to an 18 year old son is different from being a mother to an 18 year old daughter. Both are significant but different.
But how can I be ready when I am still marvelling that I have an 18 year old son, who towers over me (yes, I am not very tall, David) and weighs more than me! 😛 He has been blessed so richly by the Lord that Henson and I are often in awe of it all. Watching him grow and mature and be kind to those around him has been a joy. We have had our ups and downs (some are head banging moments indeed!) and I assume we would continue to have them since we are both imperfect sinful creatures, but it is truly amazing to watch God work in his life. And as he thinks about and processes what he wants to do with his life ahead, it is our prayer that he will learn to put God first always and fulfill the assignment or assignments God has called him to. And may he “grow in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man”. Luke 2:52.
*Read Birth Story #1
** First born, always the guinea pig
**** Singaporeans know what this means, thanks to Jack Neo’s Ah Boys to Men. but for my dear international readers, Singapore Law requires every male citizen, at the age of 18 (or later, if a delay is granted) to serve 2 years in our national Army. Most boys grow up during this time as the lifestyle and training given is totally different from the lifestyle these boys are accustomed to at home. Hence they become men. It is a significant milestone in every Singaporean boy’s life, whether they like it or not 🙂 At the time of writing this, we are still waiting for the Ministry of Defence to let us know when it will be.
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