In the previous post, Setting up ROUTINES to beat the overwhelm, I shared how setting up basic routines and then honing it with a morning and evening routine can help beat the overwhelm. In this post, I will be sharing how setting up certain systems has helped me feel less overwhelmed.
How does setting up systems to beat the overwhelm work?
Routines and systems help to beat the overwhelm because it sets things on an auto-pilot mode. This frees up our minds to deal with the other issues that life throws at us. Besides, many people, whether they are aware of it or not already have certain systems in place. For example, putting away toys/books after playing/reading. Or going grocery shopping every Saturday morning.
My three main systems
What systems do I have in place? There are 3 main things that occupy a lot of my time. Once I set in place systems to deal with all 3, life is a little less crazy and I am also a little less crazy 😛 The main purpose of putting these systems in place is so that I do not have to re-invent the wheel daily and everyone knows how things go. Like routines, they provide a sense of stability and predictability to our lives.
My three main systems cover food (menu planning, grocery shopping, food prep, cooking), household chores and homeschooling.
Food system
(A) Menu Planning
I have written a lot on menu planning. You can check them out in these posts :
Meal times happen 3 times a day. Previously, it was 4, with a snack thrown in between lunch and dinner. That snack time has long been eliminated. Occasionally we may snack but it is not a usual part of our daily routine now. This has removed a lot of my stress! I shall write about eliminating snacks another day 🙂
As you all know, I have a love-hate relationship with menu planning. And so, I have often, out of laziness, tries to wing it without one. I can usually make it through one week without going crazy. But in the end, I have realised that it is a necessary evil! Lol! It is easier to just write out a week’s worth of meals and then just stick to it. Less brain cells have to die.
(B) Grocery shopping system
After I write out a list of meals for the week, I plan out a grocery plan according to the list. For items that I buy from our wet market, I will send a text message to my pork and chicken butcher the night before J Making friends with them was the best decision ever! They prep all my food for me and I just turn up and collect it from them the next morning. This saves me a HEAP of time at the market. No longer do I need to stand in line waiting for them to cut and chop up my order. And I also save food prep time because they have already deboned/descaled/filleted/sliced all the pieces I need.
For items that are only sold at the supermarket, I will buy them when I send my girls to their ballet classes. Kill two birds with one stone. Once back at home, all packages are packed away into the fridge/freezer. This happens twice weekly.
(C) Food prep system
Since most of the chopping/slicing/deboning/etc are done by the butcher or fishmonger, there is very little food prep comparatively. However, vegetables still need to be washed and cut, and rice needs to be cooked. These have been farmed out to the children. A child helper is designated for lunch and dinner. Breakfast is done wholly by my because I am the only one up at that hour. Getting the children to help is a huge part of my system now that I have 4 teens in the house.
(D) Cooking
I have said before and I will say it again – this is where I have failed miserably. Teaching the children to cook shortens my life and so I have made the mistake of holding off teaching them. So most of the cooking is still done by me. But I am training them more and more – mostly forced to because I am out of the house more often now. Meals are kept very simple as time is limited.
As most of the food prep has been done, and all I need to do is cook, this system is rather smooth. But once I can start handing it over to the children, it would even be better! Lol!
Household chores
As with food preparation, the children play a big part in this system. In fact, I think they are the backbone of this system! I am grateful that I did not procrastinate getting them onboard early! This system has evolved with the children’s capability and maturity.
Without a live-in maid, this was one system that had to be set up FAST! We had one system when I had a lot of littles. You can read how I used to do it when I had 5 children 11 years and under.
Before our oldest enlisted in the Army we had one system but once he was enlisted, our system had to be modified. A family meeting was called and chores were re-assigned. It is by no means a perfect system but we are most certainly getting there.
I forsee more changes ahead as one by one the older children get more involved in activities outside the home.
Homeschool System
Our homeschool system has been tweaked so many times I have lost count! I remember starting our homeschool by following the public school calendar. Then I realised it wasn’t working for us and so we tweaked it. When we switched to using all local curriculum for the primary school kids (P1 – 6), there was another tweak. When we decided to use Abeka for Middle and High School, there was another tweak.
By now, we have sort of settled into our very own system. A system where the children are tasked to do their work independently, based on the DIY planner I set up for them at the beginning of each year. Through this, they learn to manage their schoolwork on their own.
RELATED POST : What Does Our Daily Homeschool Look Like?
Systems equals auto-pilot
Setting up systems and routine help beat the overwhelm because both function like habits. Once they are done regularly, they do not require any more effort.
It reduces decision fatigue and arguments. But understand that we are not robots. Systems are there to help us, not make more work for us. So we still need to be fluid even though systems are in place. They are not carved in stone. Different seasons of our lives will require different systems and routines.
The family needs to buy into your systems
I must say though that in order for our routines and systems to work smoothly, it is best if we have the family buy into them as well, especially the children in our case. It is critical because if we hope to do everything ourselves, we will collapse eventually. And our children will grow up to be entitled and lazy brats.
So while you are thinking about setting up systems, do the following in tandem.
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Encourage independence in your children
What does this mean?
It means that when you see your child attempting to feed himself, encourage him. Yes, I know it WILL be messy for a while because his hand-eye coordination is terrible in the beginning. And that is why you need him to keep practicing. You almost never see a 21 year old aim for his nose when feeding himself, right? 😛 Encourage this as young as possible.
Remember anything that is new and novel will keep them interested. So strike while the iron is hot. Take advantage of their interest and start teaching them to be independent. This can occur as young as a 6 month old baby or a teenager. It doesn’t matter. Just start.
RELATED POST : Raising Independent Learners
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Teach your children to be a blessing
I am trying to remember to call chores blessings. To remind my children that when they do a chore, they are being a blessing to the family by helping out. I was reminded of this recently when I listened to Marla Cilley of the Flylady fame. She said not to call household chores, chores. Yeah. But to call them blessings instead. Because when your daughter does the laundry chores, she is blessing the family with laundered clothing! Or when your child does the vacuuming chore, he is blessing the family with clean floors to sit or walk on!
Good days, bad days
I hope the past 3 posts on beating the overwhelm has helped encourage you along. Just remember that there will be good days and there will be not so good days, but let us keep pressing on!
If you find this post and the others helpful, do share it and this blog with your mother friends to encourage them! Thank you!
Have you checked out Crystal Paine’s Make Over Your Mornings and Make Over Your Evenings 14-day online eCourse? It will help to kickstart your Morning and Evening preparations so that you are on track instead of behind the day’s activities! Each lesson is 4 – 6 minutes long – perfect for busy, distracted moms – and easy to implement immediately.