I have had a few queries on how I manage to get our children to sit at the table and eat by themselves and how we manage to get them to eat vegetables! So I thought I should just share how we do it. In case it helps someone out there 🙂 It would be done in 2 parts so it doesn’t get too long. Click for Mealtime Battles 1.
Part Two : What about fussy eaters?
The other bugbear of parents is fussy and picky eaters. Let me first say that my children are fussy eaters. Yes, even though mom here does not pander to their whim and fancy. We have yet to cultivate a true spirit of gratefulness 🙁 BUT they will eat what is placed infront of them.
What’s the difference you may ask? One says “Thanks for cooking!” and the other says, “Blech!”. Both finish their food. In other words, they eat what is placed infront of them but with an attitude. So we are still working on that.
So how do we get them to eat whatever is infront of them? Just do it! 😀 Here’s some common scenarios that I have faced in the past 11.5years of mothering and what I do about them.
Scenario 1 : They complain about the food.
Action by mom : The food gets taken away and they don’t get to eat till the next meal.
Scenario 2: they refuse to eat
Action by mom : The food gets taken away and they don’t get to eat till the next meal.
Scenario 3 : they take forever to eat
Action by mom : A time limit is set (with a timer, if necessary). If it is not finished by the set time, the food gets taken away and they don’t get to eat till the next meal.
See the pattern? 😀
Don’t get to eat till the next meal, means just that. No food, no milk, no biscuits, no nothing except water. Until the next meal – be it lunch, dinner or breakfast. And if they complain about being hungry, they will be reminded of the reason they are hungry. This obviously doesn’t apply to babies and young toddlers. But by the time they are able to comprehend consequences, they will be made to follow these rules.
BUT I must say that so far, I have not had any toddler come and ask me for food once mealtime is over – even if he/she has not eaten much. They know that once they get off their highchair, no more food is offered. I guess it helps that we seldom nibble throughout the day. And no, they do not get a bottle or cup of milk before they go to bed either.
For those who are really stubborn and can indeed hold out till the next meal consistently, there would be a new tactic employed 🙂 The same meal that they rejected would be served at the said next meal before the current meal can be eaten. I have had to do this only once – so far.
The children now have learnt to eat what is placed before them without grumbling – mostly 🙂
Obviously I do not keep on serving what they do not like and obviously I do not heap a huge portion of what they do not like and insist that they eat it. That would be provoking the child to anger, no? 🙂
What about vegetables?
This “method” applies to vegetables as well. I will dish out a small portion of vegetables and require that everyone 3yrs and above eat it. However, this only applies to dinner. And only when we are home. I will only die on this hill once a day 😀
This issue has a very natural consequence for a few of our children. They get…constipated! So even the 4yr old will ask for vegetables, saying “Mama can I have vegetables? I don’t want to have a stomach ache.” 🙂
The basic premise of insisting that the children eat what is before them is to teach them gratefulness and obedience. And of course to teach them that mom is not a short order cook. They live in a home, not a restaurant 🙂 If I tell you to eat and you refuse, is that not disobedience? Unless you have an allergic reaction to the food or that the texture causes you to gag, you should just eat it.
Occasionally, we would like to be able to dine out as a family and not have to split ourselves up into 2 or more restaurants due to fussy eaters. Like I said, we are not there yet but we are most certainly working on it.
Just in case you are wondering, we do take into consideration each child’s needs and wishes but sometimes someone (be it mom/dad/a sibling) has to give in a little. That is what love is isn’t it? To consider someone else’s wishes above our own? And this is when they learn that the world does not revolve around them and them only. Sometimes they get what they want and sometimes they don’t 🙂
See Mealtime Battles 1 here.