From Part 3 … “Children ARE a blessing…”
But sometimes we get distracted, overwhelmed and just plain ole tired. So come, let us fix our eyes the Author and Finisher of our faith.
Moms, we need to stop comparing ourselves with others (be it our mothers, sisters, BFFs, etc.)
I realise that we often like to compare ourselves with others just to see if we are on par or better still, better than the others around us! We would compare over non-essential stuff like why someone gets to go for a 2-hour massage while we can’t. Or why someone gets a push present and we didn’t.
Have you heard of that? A push present – a reward you get for pushing the baby out! Not sure if it is popular in Singapore or not but it apparently is in the cities of America. The push present is often jewellery, diamonds, preferably, or some branded and coveted item
Even the Apostle Peter Was Guilty Of It
Each of us has our own story with God. And each of us needs to work out with God our issues. Even the Apostle Peter is not above this need to compare. When Jesus told him his eventual fate in John 21:18 “Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.”
Peter’s reaction, as recorded by the Bible, was to ask about the Apostle John’s fate! And Jesus told him to just fix his eyes on Him and not on what will happen or not happen to John. In John 21:22, Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remains until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”
The Horse and His Boy by CS Lewis
Recently, I was doing a read-aloud of The Horse and His Boy, which is part of the Narnian Chronicles, written by CS Lewis, to the younger children and I was again reminded of this: fix my eyes on Jesus and what He is doing with me, work out my own issues with God, and not be a busybody about how other mothers are doing and why they can do what they are doing.
In this story, The Horse and His Boy, we are told the story of the boy, Shasta, who escaped from being sold as a slave to a terrible master, with the help of a Narnian Talking Horse. He then encounters adventure after adventure with the Horse as well as with the female protagonist, Aravis and her Narnian Talking Horse. In the end, Shasta discovers that he is the long-lost heir to the throne of Archenland. It is all very exciting.
A Digression …
Whether you are a parent or not, I highly recommended reading the Chronicles of Narnia series, not just The Horse and His Boy. And if you are a parent, definitely do read-aloud the series to your children. Don’t watch the movies as a shortcut! They are all a letdown.
Plus, watching versus reading is less stimulating to the mind. Watching is passive. It removes the need to exercise imagination in your child’s mind. And we all need a little more imagination in our lives, don’t we?
Focus on Own Story, Not Others
Back to my point, throughout Shasta’s many adventures there was one thing that was constant, the presence of a Lion, named Aslan, the Christ figure. When Shasta finally faces the Lion, Aslan reveals to Shasta how He, Aslan, was with him all the way and how certain things he encountered and thought were bad were actually meant for his own good. And then comes this part :
Shasta: Then it was you who wounded Aravis?
THE HORSE AND HIS BOY, C.S. Lewis
Aslan: It was I.
Shasta: But what for?
Aslan: Child, I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own.
Later on, when Aslan tells Aravis why she was wounded by Him, (it was for causing trouble to her maid when she drugged her maid so that she could run away and not marry the man her father had selected for her), Aravis also naturally asked what else happened to the maid. She was met with the same answer,
“Child,” said the Lion, “I am telling you your story, not hers. No one is told any story but their own.”
THE HORSE AND HIS BOY, C.S. Lewis
Stop Comparing!
And so it is with us mothers. We need to stop comparing our journey with others around us. What is the assignment God has called me to with regards to my children? I need to do the best with what I have and trust God to take care of the rest.
You may have been dealt a bad deck of cards in your opinion – a child that is chronically sick, or maybe you are the one who is chronically sick, a husband who is never around. So you start comparing and feeling envious. You think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But you don’t really know the other person’s story, what cross she is carrying, even if you live with her. No one knows the inner demons we battle with, right?
So unless the other person’s story inspires us and motivates us to do better than it is better to leave it alone. Stop comparing. Don’t compete. Be encouraged, not condemned.
Remember, God gave your children to you, not to anyone else. God doesn’t make mistakes. Listen to this again and be encouraged – God doesn’t make mistakes. The children you have are not a mistake or an accident. A surprise, maybe, but they are not mistakes or accidents. He chose YOU to be their mother. They need you as much as you need them.
…See you next week where our focus is to Be Encouraged, not afraid!…
Questions to Ponder This Week :
- Who are you comparing yourself to? Why?
- In which area do you feel you have fallen short and failed the most? In which area do you feel you are doing great in?
- Are there issues God is using in motherhood to deal with you? Eg selfishness, impatience.
- Who inspires you, motivates you to do better? Why?
- How can you stop comparing yourself with others?
The Full Series of Be Encouraged
- Part 1 – Be Encouraged: Introduction
- Part 2 – Be Encouraged to see motherhood as a ministry
- Part 3 – Be Encouraged to see our children as blessings
- Part 4 – Be Encouraged to fix our eyes on Jesus
- Part 5 – Be Encouraged, not afraid
- Part 6 – Be Encouraged while living out the daily grind of life
- Part 7 – Be Encouraged to know that He is the God-Who-Sees
- Part 8 – Be Encouraged and embrace motherhood wholeheartedly