When I had my first baby, I was rather stressed – just like most new moms.
It didn’t help that I was a breastfeeding mom with no real support. And to top that off was a baby that loved to suck but did not like the fact that suckling led to an intake of milk. So he would suckle and then scream in anger the moment I had a letdown. At first I thought it was the overactive letdown that irritated him but then I realised it was the fact that he wanted to suck without the milk that came with it. Ah! Those were stressful days!
Then when we passed the newborn stage, I would wonder about his sleeping patterns, his food intake, his pooing pattern….the list goes on. Thankfully, he was a very chubby breastfed baby so at least I didn’t have to wonder if my milk was sufficient for him! Oh! And I would worry about carrying him too much/too little. Talk about being tensed!
Fast forward to our 6th baby. She has the same personality as her oldest brother – likes to suck but hates the milk that comes with it! But my reaction and how I deal with it differed much from 9.5 years ago. I am so much more relaxed with her.
What’s my point?
In the past 9.5 years as a mom, I have come across many new moms who were like me when I had my 1st child. Tensed, always worrying about the baby. And in that atmosphere, the baby picked up the tensed signals and of course reacted to it by being more difficult to handle than usual.
I know most of us need to go through this “rite of passage” before we can relax and start enjoying our babies. But do not let this stage drag on for too long!
Ideally, we should have had a pleasant birth experience which allowed us to bond immediately with our babies. But the sad reality is that most women do not have pleasant birth experiences (which is another post altogether!) and that affects the bonding session.
So they need to work on bonding with their babies. And if they do not breastfeed, they would have to work doubly hard as they do not have the side benefit of prolactin and oxytocin (the mothering hormones) to help them.
I write this to encourage new mothers to remember to enjoy their babies in the midst of numerous diaper changes and many middle-of-the-night feedings. Yes, the learning curve is steep – so learn quickly and then move on! If you do not take time to enjoy your babies, you are missing out a lot!
I see moms angsting about – how much baby is feeding or not feeding, how much baby is sleeping or not sleeping, and of course, how much weight the baby has put on or not. These are important issues but please do not get so obsessed by it till it overshadows your ability to enjoy your babies! Relax!
Learn to bask in their tootless smiles and enjoy their cooing and raspberry blowing. In time to come, you can beam with pride as they recognise you and offer their smiles to you freely while others work so hard to elicit the same response. Even when they cling to you, be glad! Or do you really want them to cling to someone else?! Yes, sometimes a break would be nice but really it is only for a short season.
I am glad that the Lord has given my dh and I so many chances to enjoy the newborn stage over and over and we are truly enjoying each baby more and more.
Remember….Enjoy Your Baby!