Chided

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Nothing like a crisis to make us go down on our knees and cry out to the Lord. In the midst of my crying out to the Lord for healing and relief from the itch and pain, I thought I was hungry for God. But I was actually only hungry for His healing power. I wasn’t truly seeking Him for Himself.

I was still very much going on my way and doing things my way, on my own strength and in my own wisdom. Sure I was praying and crying out to the Lord. But there was a residual bit in me that I didn’t even realise I was holding back till a sister in Christ commented to me, “You don’t seem very hungry for God.”

The fact that I didn’t up and leave in a huff showed me that it was the Holy Spirit confronting me with the Truth. I was not offended at all but pricked.

Ouch!

After we parted, I thought about it somemore. It was all true, of course. Instead of spending time meditating on God’s Word and praying and seeking Him, I was spending all my available time on the GAPS forums and surfing the Internet for help and a cure. I was consumed with the desire to heal us. But I was not consumed with the desire to know God 🙁

My focus and priority were wrong! There is nothing wrong with arming myself with knowledge but it is never right to pursue it at the expense of my relationship with God. How I had to repent! And I had ti discipline myself not to go surfing the net and asking everyone else for their opinion instead of seeking God first. Such a hard habit to break. 🙁

But I am so grateful to be brought back to a right relationship with Abba Father. And I am grateful that He is chastening me instead of leaving me to my own devices! (Prov 3:12)

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