Do you regret being a mother, especially a stay at home mother (SAHM)?

I don’t. Even on bad days. Not even when the kids take turns to annoy me, be rude, talk back and be disobedient. To wish them all away? To go to work and be away from my children for hours on end, day after day? No. And I pray to God, never! Sure, some days I want to take a l-o-n-g vacation from them all but it is never a permanent desire.

Motherhood, a fulfilment of a dream?

Is it because I have always wanted to be a mother, love children and dream of being a full-time mother since I was a little girl. Nope! Never in my wildest dreams! 😀 Remember, I was the girl who did not want any children. Period.

So when I became pregnant, I thought that I would do what many other women around the world do when the baby finally arrived – be a working mom, albeit a part-time one. But the perfectionist in me found it hard to juggle two jobs and do both well. So, towards the end of 1998, when God put into my heart to be a stay at home mother, I was glad and relieved. I could now concentrate on being a full-time mother. However, that move that shocked some and displeased others. To many, that was a waste of my education. Why would someone with a degree throw it all away to become just a mom?

What a waste!

As I chat with fellow degree holder mothers who had taken the decision to stay home and raise their children themselves, they share that they had similar comments thrown at them. Society indeed frowns on full-time motherhood.

Even in Christian circles. We are supposed to be doing something “useful” with our lives and degrees. Something not related to child raising, unless it is with regard to other people’s children. To teach our own children was silly but to teach other people’s children? Something worthwhile as an advertisement tagline spouted. How warped.

Not developing our potential to its fullest

The purpose of our education, you see, was to get us good jobs, preferably high flying glamorous ones! So when we become a stay at home mother, we are wasting our education. We wasted our parents’ hard earned money to be just a housewife and a mother!

We should at least be engaged in some part-time work or be running a business out of our homes. We are not developing our potential to its fullest. Well, these people obviously, think that motherhood is an easy, a lowbrow job. Anyone could do it.

But motherhood is more than just making sure your child is clothed and fed, sent to school and picked up.  It is waaaaay more. And as Christian moms, the stakes are even higher, in my opinion. We are called to a higher standard and answer to The Highest Authority on how we have been faithful or unfaithful stewards of the blessings He gave to us.

Don’t sell yourself short

I started this blog specifically for Christian SAHMs, although I know that many other “types” of mothers come and read every now and then. Because, whether we work out of home, work at home or stay at home, all mothers face the same issues with regards to raising our children.

Come this Mother’s Day, I want to remind you and I not to sell ourselves short. Don’t regret being a SAHM even as you don’t seem to see any budding fruit in your sacrifice, YET. But instead, rejoice that you have been given this great privilege to be one. There are many mothers out there who desire to do so but are unable to.

It is ok to be just a mom

So what if the government does not recognise our contributions? So what if we are not saving the world by inventing the next vaccine or being a mumpreneur, as yesterday’s newspaper supplement, Urban, celebrates them. More power to you if you can run a company and be an involved mother at the same time. But for the rest of us, mere mortals, it is ok.

It is ok to be just a mom. It’s ok to be just a housewife. Because our worth is not in the job titles we hold or the awards we win. It is in the fact that we are doing what God has chosen us to do!

Be our own cheerleaders

And if we don’t have any cheerleaders urging us on this journey, let us be our own cheerleaders! Yes, the days are long but the years are short. In the early years it often seemed as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel! Especially when you have more young and helpless children than you have helping hands. Being clueless and running around like headless chickens, it really does seem you’d be in the trenches forever!  Still, the light does come and we will truly reap what we sow.

Stay at home mother »»» Godly children

But please don’t get the wrong idea that just because we are SAHMs our children will be saints and that they will automatically love and serve the Lord. Truly there is no one who can guarantee that. And if someone does, run! 😀

Whether you are s SAHM or not, we must all do our part to teach and train and share with our children God’s Word. But how and what they decide to do with that is truly their own decision. We have to rest in His grace and mercy.

Blessed Mother’s Day!

Have a blessed Mother’s Day and may we always remember that it is certainly a privilege to be a mother, especially as a SAHM!

Related posts to encourage you



7 comments on “Just a mom”

  1. Thank you so much for the encouragement!I have 3 kids- 6,3 and 7months. I find myself struggling through everyday and at the end of the day hating myself for being a terrible mum. The sense of fighting the battle alone and feeling defeated reallymakes it tough to stay home.

    • Hi, don’t feel that way (about being a terrible mom)… we are mere mortals. Trust me, the very fact that we are home for the kids means the whole world to them. I often ask my kids whether I can go to work, and they’ll scream back, “No!”

  2. Hi, just read a glimpse of ur post. To be a SAHM is a privilege for me. I want to know more of how you raise your children without feeling overwhelmed by the financial situation especially with the ‘no help’ policy from our Spore goverment to SAHM (like no tax rebate, etc if mom is not working full time). Thanks

  3. Yes, SAHM are still frowned upon now. I’m a degree holder and I’ve received the “waste education and money” comment before. A few asked whether I regret staying home. I even do receive such questions from friends “what do you do at home?” Disheartening. Thank you Serene for tagging this post in your recent newsletter!

    • We have all been indoctrinated by the system to think this way. So we need a a whole new mindset to view motherhood through God’s eyes.

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